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ECR nominates nobody for Commission presidency

Martin Callanan (ECR, UK) Archive) © European Union 2013 – European Parliament (CC BY-NC-ND)

The Euro-party Alliance of European Conservatives and Reformists and their group in the European Parliament the European Conservatives and Reformist (ECR) will nominate nobody for Commission Presidency.

Speaking at a press conference (February 20) announcing the decision, the group’s secretary-general, Dan Hannan, said “we have high hopes in this elections. We believe the best person to strive for our goal to take a new direction in Europe and fight our group’s nightmare, Euro-federalism, with nationali… I mean Euro-realism will be nobody.”

With this decision all groups, except the right-wing, have nominated headline candidates in order to motivate via personalisation the Europeans to take interest in the elections. From the left to center-right politicians hope to therewith achieve a higher turnout and better results for their own group.

To defend its decision, ECR released a very representative opinion poll conducted by ComRes in six countries with 200 participants each which found that 65% of Europeans have never heard of Martin Schulz, the Party of European Socialists candidate for Commission president, but that incredible 98 % are aware of nobody. Dan Hannan explained: “You see, the election campaign hasn’t even started and already 35 % have heard of Martin Schulz. That clearly shows that the Socialists won’t stand a chance against our strategy to send into the race nobody.”

Martin Callanan (pictured), the ECR group’s president, counts on nobody to defend the ECR’s ideas against charismatic socialist candidate Schulz at the TV-debate on May 14. “We believe that nobody is the right person for this job. Our idea of a EU-disintegra… I mean EU-reform is most certainly best represented by nobody”. ECR is also confident that this is the right candidate to point out the difference between “these vulgar nationalists of UKIP with whom we have nothing in common!” On enquiry Mr. Callanan specified “Well, except our stance on European integration”.

Commenting on this nomination Guy Verhofstadt, candidate for the liberals and a Euro-federalist, said “I expected the ECR to pull something out of a hat but I hadn’t expect that they send in their best. Nobody is certainly the strongest possible candidate – an intellectual frontrunner of the party and a modern challenger to our progressive ideas of a European democracy”.

This is a satirical piece based on an article of The European Voice. All quotes are made up. However, ECR indeed did not agree on one common candidate to run for Commission presidency but claims it is their right to participate in the TV-debate anyway.

#EP2014 #Europeanelections #satire

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